AFTER YEARS OF RESEARCH
FRANK'S ZANY STATISTICS
& SUCH UNDELETED THOTS AS THESE, THOSE, THEM... WHAT ?? !
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Before you get to the stats. News flash. There is no missing link. Evolutionary, or otherwise. More likely otherwise. If evolution was in motion, why have there not been new species suddenly forming out of existing species? I mean, if evolution was really a viable explanation for the existence of existence, there should be new species popping into being all the time.
I know, I know... it is a stretch. But so was the Earth not being flat at one time.
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Okay... okay to the stats.
*Mammals are more likely to have four legs than seven or thirty-two, or any other numerical value for that matter, unless of course you are a whale or a dolphin then you aint got none or a human and you lost two or a kangaroo... by hoppin' !
* If fish could learn to fly and horses eat doughnuts underwater, we might be in the midst of a true evolutionary blip!
*Women are most likely to give birth unless of course you are a test tube in some future happening void of women giving birth.
*Human's who are alive are more likely to die before those yet to be born. Life will surely kill you either way. Who invented life, anyway! Klutz! No better than a machine with built in obsolessence ( however your spell that word).
*Squirrels are more likely to eat nuts than squash. Unless of course you are a cannibal and eat some of my relatives.
*Humans under five are most likely to not have reached puberty. Well, that's brilliant!
* Among post-pubescent humans, men are most likely to not give birth. Are test tubes male or female?
* Lesbians are more likely to be gay, than not. Gay lesbians are happiest.
* Among humans, mothers are more likely to be women and men more likely to be fathers than the other way around or any other way at all!
* Men who own skates are most likely to play hockey. Women who don't own skates are least likely to play hockey among women. Women who own skates may or may not play hockey. If hockey was but a game why do people get paid to play it?
* Feet are most likely to wear shoes. Not humans. For a human to where a shoe it would be one big shoe!!!!!!!!!! to hold all that humanness.
* Yet, humans are most likely to wear shoes, somehow, unless your population sample is restricted to horses.
* Horses are most likely to neigh! Women most likely to say, "No." Winning hockey temas likely to say, "Yeigh!"
* Mothers of newborns are most likely to breastfeed. Men most likely to never breastfeed successfully. Neither are likely to breastfeed unless they have given birth to a human. Cows udder feed. Baby birds beak feed. Fish mouth feed. Bricks don't feed. There is no such thing as a breast feeding women unless she is suckling herself or another lactating female human. There are such things as breast feeding human babies, though.
* All statistics are open to numerical aberration, and therein lies their fundamental truth! Or absence of truth. Life is like that. Fundamentally true in the absence of anything to the contrary.
*Grandmothers are most likely to occur among mothers.
*Mothers are more likely to occur among females.
*Fathers are more likely to be children, than mothers.
*Fathers and mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers are all likely to be children.
*Opposites attract in science. Similar magnetic forces (poles) repel each other. Yet, a sound in harmony with an object causes that object to vibrate... sort of... If you are in love... sing! ...
*Opposites can only exist with differences.
*Eradicating differences eradicates opposites. Without opposites who would be attracted to who or what????
*Without sex we wouldn't be here. Hypotheses: Maybe our passion for sex is not so much to procreate, pleasure-ate, or propagate but to duplicate... and thus our insatiability...
* If the light bulb went on darkness went off. Why don't we say, "Turn the darkness off?" instead of "Turn the light on?"
*Statistics indicate dogs are more likely to bark than cats. Trees are more likely to have bark than cats. Dog is really a short word for have bark will travel. A tree is a short word meaning have bark will not travel. Cat is really cat unless you hold it (the word) in front of a mirror then it's tac which is an an-ac-ronym for traveling acrobatic cat. With dnb added making tacdnb it means traveling acrobatic cat does not bark.
*After years of research it has been discovered that a barking dog has its mouth open. An open mouth does not always mean a dog barking. Among humans this is often true.
*A wet suit is something most often worn by swimmers who scuba dive than swimmers who don't. Swimmers who don't scuba dive have wet suits on after they swim and while they are swimming unless they swim nude. Swimmers who scuba dive have wet suits on when they and the suits are dry and they are not swimming. Swimmers who scuba dive also have wet suits on when they are swimming and wet. Huh!!!?!!!
Happy Stat-0-ing,
Love,
Frank
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